I’ve always been a big day dreamer. I guess I’ve always had a really good imagination. As a kid, I always had these big ideas. I wanted to put speakers throughout my house when I was around 6 or 7 so we could constantly play music, which is kind funny now because I have music playing at all times of the day through my phone.
Then in elementary school and middle school, I had this idea of what high school was going to be like from watching movies like American Pie and different music videos, like the one for Thunder by Boys Like Girls. Everything was so romanticized in my head. I still continue to do this today and it has bit me in the ass so many times.
I think part of it stems from anxiety. A lot of times, I need to have an idea of what to expect. Within the last year, I realized how pointless this was because I’m obviously never going to predict what’s going to happen. This doesn’t mean I’ve stopped doing it though. More recently, I started hanging with this girl and she was great, so nice, easy to talk to, I had fun with her. I knew I liked her when I started romanticizing everything. I would imagine all the stuff we’d do together, etc etc etc. I had jumped so far ahead. This would be example where doing this really doesn’t help me out. But, a lot of the time, I can get so lost in my head and its actually super cool. With songs especially, I’ve always just developed my own music video for them in my head. Same with books too, certain books just put the best images in my head and its only specific to each individual person.
I don’t really know where I was going with this. In my head, it’s way easier to write about, but I guess that’s the whole point.
Exulansis 