Transition

The past few days have been interesting. I talked in my last blog post about when I started soccer last year and college and how I had such a tough time making that transition from being home all the time to being on my own. Last year was definitely a lot harder than this year but its still can feel difficult at times. To be honest, I love being at home. There’s just so much I miss about it. My dog, my bed (I have the most comfortable bed on Earth), my family. I do see my family pretty often still because my college is so close to home.

Anyway, so I think I’ve figured out that I am just not good with that transition period during a significant change in my life. I’m sure I’m not the only one out there with this issue, but stuff like this just gets to me. For example, junior year when I spent over a year fighting for that one girl and then we broke up after 3 months, I was messed up for months. Still to this day, I think about her from time to time. Although, she’s not the same person she was back then, but I always wonder. I guess that change is similar in significance to making the transition to college and living on you’re own and playing college soccer. It’s like that in between period where you don’t really know whats what yet. I really don’t do well with that.

I’ve been saying this forever, but hopefully this year I’ll get myself into some kind of relationship. I hate that I say that because people say that you have to be happy by yourself before you can be happy with someone else and be happy on your own. Yeah yeah. Having someone (besides this blog) to be able to talk to about just anything would be so awesome. I’m laying here in my new bed thinking about the praised “netflix and chill” date. Let me tell you, this bed would be absolutely perfect for it. I couldn’t tell you the last time I actually had strong feelings for a girl. Well, actually, yeah I could because it was high school and the girl I write about way too much. I guess that’s the only experience I can relate anything relationship related to.

I’m definitely bad with transitions by the way. ^^^

V-Day

Valentine’s Day has never been any more to me than just a regular day. Today was the most regular of them all. Last night, I participated in the beerlympics and since I pretty much carried my team, I was really feeling it this morning. So I started my day with a massive head ache. After I showered and prepared myself to function for the day, I watched two movies on Netflix: Insidious 2 and Machine Gun Preacher. Insidious 2 is a great movie. The other was okay, not one of my favorites. Anyway, Netflix took up most of my day. Then earlier tonight, I had to go and see a play put on by the university as a requirement for the theater class that I’m in. Since it was Valentine’s Day, I really didn’t want to go by myself because plays are usually common for couples to go see, especially on Valentine’s Day. So, I asked a friend, who’s a girl, she was down to go. So I bought two tickets, then today she told me that her brother crashed her car last night and couldn’t come. I was fine with it, I figured I could just ask someone else.

As it turns out, I’m more alone than I thought I was. I asked a few girls, one was totally willing to drive an hour to get here, but because of a greatly timed snow storm, she couldn’t come, and I eventually had to walk back to my dorm in 5 inches of snow. I asked two more people after that, both already had plans. Its always the days where you don’t have much to do that you begin to think about things like this. I’ve always been content with being on my own. I even think I’m too much of a loner sometimes. Although, I’m one of the most social people you’ll ever probably not meet. I read somewhere that you have to be content with being alone before you can be with someone else. I think there’s definitely some meaning to that. But I guess I’ll just wait for my yellow umbrella to come along.

Hiatus

It’s probably been almost two months since I took my unintentional hiatus from blogging. There were definitely times where I wanted to just sit down and type, but I could never do it with other people around, which is a constant when living in a dorm. My mentality has definitely changed since being here for a while. In the beginning month or so, I was so… worried. The change was still so significant and I couldn’t help thinking about my life and home and all of my friends from home. But now, I think I’ve grown used to the fact that the change has already been made. I was more afraid of all of my friends changing, when it was only a mere change of circumstance. Everyone changes a little, but everyone is still the same.

One thing I was pumped about when going to college was the girls. And oh my, have I been disappointed. In the beginning, it was cool, I met a lot of new people, new girls. Now, everyone is just old news. Like have you ever had that feeling where you’re surrounded by girls (or guys) and you just see that no one has any potential for you? That’s how I feel now. Everyone is boring. And I hate to sound lie a snob or really picky, but I’m not in it for something superficial.

The life of a modern day college student requires one extremely important thing: netflix. Netflix is probably the best way to kill time ever. Last night, I found myself about half way through season 4 of How I Met Your Mother. As I may or may not have mentioned before, Ted is definitely my spirit animal. He is THE hopeless romantic. The only thing I don’t have much of an interest for is how desperate the show makes Ted out to be. Otherwise, he is me down to a T, except he has had way more dates and girlfriends than I have.

All in all, college has been cool. I’ve progressed as a goalkeeper exponentially since the start of preseason. My grades are pretty solid too. There’s just two things that remain unanswered: what am I going to do with my life and when am I going to meet ‘the one’? Maybe thats a subject for another day.